


Vigil

by lighthouseglow



Series: Last of Us [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Backstory, Gen, One Shot, Personal Canon, Postpartum Depression, Pre-Game(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 04:11:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5233595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lighthouseglow/pseuds/lighthouseglow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’ll get used to it.”</p><p>I leaned my head back against the pillow. “What if I don’t?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vigil

**Author's Note:**

> Excuse me while I get my bearings in this new game...

I never wanted Shaun in the first place—a horrid thing to say, but it’s true. When I found out I was pregnant, my husband was pleasantly surprised. “Considering it’s you, Lily, you’re taking it better than I thought.”

“As long as it’s just Shaun and not any more than one. I know you like kids, but I’m really not mother material. Mum wore herself out with four of us and…”

“Hey, hey, I get it. I understand. We can get one of those Mr. Handys once the baby comes.”

“I feel like it’s a parasite in my belly.”

“You’re not that far along yet, hon.” Nate was the only man that ever understood me or bothered to love me, for that matter. I guess after combat he wasn’t feeling picky or…maybe I’m selling myself short. Doesn’t change the fact that I didn’t expect Nate to fall for me—I mean, that’s what happens when two people initially despise each other at--

And he’s gone. He’s fucking _gone_. Tell me they didn’t shoot my Nathaniel in cold blood while the only thing I could do was…watch. They took Shaun. I didn’t…I… I didn’t warm to Shaun after he was born the way moms are supposed to, but…Nate never complained. Even when I spent weeks lying in bed, disconnected from the crying in Shaun’s room, Nate was there to…get me through it. “Changing diapers is small potatoes compared to the army.”

“Hey, Lily, we’ve talked about this—I know how you feel, okay?”

“I’m not used to anyone saying that. Thanks for…getting me out of Florida when you did.”

“No offense, but your mom was on the toxic side. I know you love her but you don’t have to like her. We’re in Boston now; everything will get better from here.”

“I only believe you when you say that.” Panic suddenly gripped me. “You’re not leaving forever, are you? I know it’s stupid, but…”

“…It was not stupid,” Nate interrupted, crawling into bed next to me.

“Yeah, it is. I’m constantly in panic mode,” I answered, running a hand down the right, damaged side of his face. “Did that hurt, that explosion?”

“After they doped me up, you mean? Nah. My pain tolerance has always been…frighteningly high, actually. It could’ve been worse; I saw guys leave the field with one arm gone.”

“Your pride wasn’t wounded by your fucked up face?” I laughed quietly.

“…Okay, maybe slightly, but that’s all you’re getting out of me. Christ, why do _I_ have to give the speech tonight?”

“So I can stay home and keep an eye on Shaun. I hate not being able to feel what I’m supposed to, Nate.”

 

“You’ll get used to it.”

I leaned my head back against the pillow. “What if I don’t?”

“Well, there’s Codsworth now and we can always go to the doctor if…nothing changes.”

“I hear him in the kitchen. We’d better get up. Have you at least thought about how to start the speech?” I asked as he walked into the bathroom.

“How about…’War never changes?’ War never changes…”


End file.
